Wisdom brightens a person's face and changes its hard appearance. -Ecclesiatstes 8:1

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Pause


Our adoption trials and tribulations came to an abrupt halt (yield?) when we had two weeks’ notice about our daughter last July.
Through the generosity of family and friends we got everything we could possibly need and more within those two weeks.
We brought our daughter home and concluded our business with the lawyer and courts over the next 3 months.
Our dream came true in a matter of days after many, many years of grief and anguish.
But that doesn’t mean our journey has ended. We never said we’d just stop at one.
Of course, life has been taken over by this precious little baby girl. She is the reason Mr. Blakesnewface and I live and breathe. (She’s also the reason we don’t get a lot of sleep and often have bad attitudes towards each other, but that is a whole other blog post.)
Right now, our journey is on pause as we take time to bond with our daughter. If it is not in the cards for us to adopt again, so be it. I can accept that fate way better than I would have been able to accept not ever having/raising a child.
The grief and anguish that were so prevalent in our lives have been replaced with joy and adoration. I certainly don’t want to go back into the process of adoption and go through all of the ups and downs and invasiveness only to be disappointed over and over again. However, I have to remember how quickly all of the bad stuff from the adoption experience fades to black once you have that child in your arms. And I want others to realize this too.
I still plan on blogging about adoption- not just about motherhood. I don’t (and never did) have a lot of good comments to make about the whole process of adoption. My perspective has not changed even though our wish came true. I think people should be made aware of how things are. I get emails everyday from an adoption forum where people have posted their frustrations, anger and sadness. Just because it finally happened for us, doesn’t mean that all of that stopped outside of my little family unit. I will do my blogging for those people.
Yes, I’m a happy mama now, but that angry, bitter, and frustrated future adoptive parent is still inside me and she remembers.
So even though our journey is on pause, the emotions don’t have a pause button- there isn’t even a remote control to turn their volume down! After having been through the process, I think they actually got louder!

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