In our journey to adopt, Mr. Blakesnewface and I learned a whole lot about the process.
We learned about costs.
We learned about expectations.
We learned about invasiveness.
We learned about prejudice.
We learned about judgment.
I think a lot of people make assumptions about those who adopt. Not necessarily bad assumptions, mind you, but assumptions nonetheless.
For Mr. B and I, adoption was a means to live out a lifelong dream.
I don’t want to sound selfish. I know there are orphans all over the world. I know it is my duty as a Christian to help take care of these orphans (James 1:27), but am I so wrong to say that this isn’t why I adopted?
Yes, adoption is a blessing, but the road is long and hard and I don’t know if I could have done it out of duty. I did it because I knew there was something I wanted more than anything at the end of that long, hard road. And believe me, I wanted to quit SO many times.
I realize how harsh I might sound. I truly don’t mean to offend. But we didn’t adopt out of duty. I’m NOT perfect.
Does that make us imperfect in our reasoning? Are we bad people because we wanted a baby and not an older child? Should we have traveled to a foreign land to find our child?
I don’t want people to assume that we adopted because we are selfless Christians and wanted to give a good home to a child that wouldn’t necessarily have had one.
Believe me I KNOW how terrible that last statement sounds.
I understand that that is not a bad assumption for people to make about us, but I would feel like I was lying if people believed that was our only reason.
We are Christians and we did want to give a home to a child, but not for selfless reasons.
I admit it. Our reason for adoption may be imperfect. It might be completely selfish in some people’s eyes. But I don’t want to give a false testimony.
The testimony I want to give is truth. I want other Christian families to know it is okay to be selfish when it comes to adoption and it is okay to admit it. I highly doubt we are the only imperfect people out there.
Adoption is a Wonderful thing and I know that God had His hands in our journey every step of the way. I am certainly glad we were able to be there for our C's Yeva*. I know that God helped her choose us to raise her baby. God put our lawyer, our profile, in her life at the exact moment it was supposed to happen.
That's where my testimony is. It is in the process. And the process is always perfect when you trust in the Lord.
*Yeva is the name we choose to refer to C’s bio-mom/first-mom/birth-mom. It is Armenian and means “Breath of Life” or derived from the Hebrew Chava, after Eve, “the mother of all the living”.