Wisdom brightens a person's face and changes its hard appearance. -Ecclesiatstes 8:1

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Older Parents

One of my biggest fears when I got married was that my husband would be old when our children were growing up. He’s 40 this year. That means, by high school graduation of our oldest child, he will be 58 and that just seems to me to be old for a parent. 

I realize that in today’s society, many people are waiting to have children. A lot are waiting to get married. At least, that is what research says. Though I wonder if by “waiting”, the research just means they haven’t had kids (or gotten married) by a certain age. Do those researchers take in to account people who wanted to be married and have kids earlier, but they haven’t found anyone or they are infertile? Just wondering. 

I honestly remember having my life planned out when I was younger in accordance with the timeline my mom had been on. I wanted to be married at 18 with a child soon thereafter. Now, I know that seems ridiculous in this day and age in most circles. But that is what I wanted. Then it didn’t happen. I didn’t meet my meant-to-be until I was 25. He was 32. And of course, I started doing the math. We needed to get married and have a baby right away!!!! But that didn’t happen.

I know it is acceptable to be an ‘older’ parent these days. It is more common than it ever has been, be it because of career and life choices or because of the laws of nature. 

It makes things hard though. There are many people with children the same age as ours, but guess what… they are a lot younger than we are. That makes things a little awkward. 

My BFF is my age. She has 3 kids and her youngest is 8. So it isn’t like there are playdates in our future. Another BFF is my age and still single. Again, not an ideal situation for new parents. It just makes things hard to relate. 

I’m not complaining. Life has fallen in accordance with the timeline it was meant to. While that might not have matched what I wanted, it wasn’t my will to be done in the first place. 

We are ‘older’ parents. We will be even older parents when our child/children are older. But that’s okay. 

What do you consider an “older” parent? If you are ‘older’, how do you find people to relate to?

1 comment:

SethCaddell said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with older parents. My wife's parents are significantly older (Her dad was in his mid 60s when she graduated HS). I know she liked it because it gave her parents more wisdom and more insights to help her make good decisions. I'm sure you guys will be able to do the same thing for your family.