Wisdom brightens a person's face and changes its hard appearance. -Ecclesiatstes 8:1

Thursday, November 4, 2010

How would you decide?

My husband and I bought a house a couple of years ago. It was move-in ready, painted all white and perfect for our first home. However, there were things we wanted to change:

Half wall (spindles have been knocked down)

We want to remove this wall, or at the very least, lower it and make a bar.

We also want to build a fence around the AC unit in the backyard to keep the dogs from chewing.

We want to paint the rooms (and we’ve done a little painting, but not everything).

We want to remove the Duck/Flower wallpaper from the guest room.

We want to pull up the carpet and lay some kind of tile or wood flooring.

We want to organize the garage for all of our sporting goods and lawn equipment AND still have room for a car.

We want…

We want…

We want…

But, we also want to adopt a child or children.

This is where our difficulties lay and we have to make truly hard decisions.

Do we fix the house how we want it or do we just continue to live in it as is and save money for the adoption?

And it isn’t just the house that causes this conflict. There are family “obligations”.

Do we pay to go visit family that lives hundreds of miles away (and some overseas) or do we turn them down again and again and save money for the adoption.

I know Dave Ramsey would say, “you don’t do anything fun until your debts are paid off.” And I agree, but that doesn’t make it easier. It isn’t only paying off debt. It is saving up tens of thousands to adopt a child that puts us in such dilemmas.

I try so hard to explain to family. “Yes, we would love to come visit you” Or “Yes, we would love to take a family vacation with you to Disney for a week,” but then I have to say “but we can’t afford to if we want to adopt a child.”

Right now every spare penny is going toward our debt. After that, every spare penny will go toward saving for adoption. It has been years in the making and will still be a couple of more, I fear.

It is so hard to make those decisions on if we should do something to make us happy now, or if ultimately having a child is going to make up for all of that.

I know not everyone has been through something like this, but for anyone who has: How do you make those decisions? Do you just make the judgment that if it isn’t a necessary trip/item, you don’t pay for it? You just wait? Does it ever get easier?

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